I Need You to Tell Me Who I Am

On a train headed to work with Bon Jovi next to me to remind me to live life on a prayer…or Prince to remind me of the sign of the times as I question everything…or Meat Loaf to whisper sweet nothings in my ear as he rounds second base by the dashboard lights…or The Fray gifting me with one last song in Japan on how to save a life to remind me how I spent years trying to save mine…songs mean so much to me. Each song has a place, a period, or an event that was a gift in the moment and a legacy years after that evoke visceral feelings.

After I was let go, my spirit was crushed. The wind and purpose had been chased out of me. I had no artist to champion the need of a new song! Hair band cheese metal left me empty in my spandex…80’s music was unable to synthesize any feelings…my grunge days did not have enough flannel to keep me warm once I had been kicked out of home…Meat Loaf warned me there would never be any love, but it was of no comfort…U2 was unable to give me a beautiful day, and Coldplay did not fix anything…Leonard Cohen made things worse by reminding me everyone knew but me…Lily Allen did bring a smile to my face with her dirty ditty, but it did not last…but finally a champion arrived – John Moreland. I have found comfort in the words of John Moreland because I lost my way and my identity and he reconfirmed shit happens. And when it does, sometimes a gentle whisper of who we are is all that is needed.

I am a child of God. I am a husband. I am a father. I am a friend. I am a teacher. I am an advocate. Today, I am, and for this, I am thankful.

I Need You to Tell Me Who I Am

I’m staring at the sky with a lump inside my throat
I’m as green as the grass in every song you wrote
Well babe, I’m afraid I lost it before you knew I had it
Boxes full of dust are falling from the attic
I threw my love into the ocean and I found it in the sand
And I need you to tell me who I am

I got years worth of work and I’m running low on tools
I’ve been worshiping the words of weary worn out fools
We stood out on the sidewalk throwing feathers at the castle
Be careful what you wish for, babe you look a little fragile
And they’ll blow smoke in your direction til you don’t know where you stand
And I need you to tell me who I am

I never cared for anyone so much
I was born with a bomb inside my gut
You spend so long looking that you never really see
I need you to tell me what to be

Well babe, I’m afraid I lost it before you knew I had it
I only wanted one thing and I put my faith in magic
I threw my love into the ocean and I found it in the sand
I need you to tell me who I am