The Grammar of Noticing – Day 23

Prompt – A teacher who noticed something in you.

Non solum oculis.

I took Latin in high school after taking French in junior high with an evil little man who had a bad comb-over, worse teeth, and no patience for ignorant little children messing up his language. I was absolutely not going to continue with French. So I switched to Latin. Latin was a dead language, at least on paper, but it turned out to be the most alive class I had ever taken.

What I learned in that room had very little to do with memorizing declensions and everything to do with how ideas are made. Mr. Duffy taught me that thinking is not a silent, private act that happens first and then gets dressed in words. Thinking is social before it is individual. Ideas are formed through interaction, through dialogue, and only later do those shared ways of thinking move inward, where they begin to feel private and personal. Language was not an afterthought. It was the place where thinking happened.

Mr. Duffy taught that language is not a box that holds ideas. Language allows ideas to form, collide, revise, and grow. Words do not simply name thoughts. They shape them. The structure of language influences what can be noticed, compared, questioned, and remembered. He showed us that expanding language, even by adding a so-called dead one, expands cognition. I did not have an academic understanding of all this then, but I understood it intuitively. He was right.

Because of Mr. Duffy, I became interested in languages and in what becomes possible when more than one linguistic system lives in the same mind. I learned that knowing more languages does not simply add vocabulary. It adds ways of organizing experience. Each language carries its own metaphors, its own logic, its own relationships between time, action, and responsibility. The more languages a person has access to, the more tools they have for connecting ideas, negotiating meaning, and making sense of the world with depth instead of speed.

Mr. Duffy noticed this curiosity about language in me before I did. He shared his thinking about language and life without making it feel like something that needed to be swallowed whole. He taught us Horace, the Roman poet made known by a new generation because of Dead Poets Society, and he used that film to draw us in and teach. He understood that attention is earned, not demanded.

Recently, I found my old senior year book, and inside it he had written that he would always remember me for my honesty and my sense of humor. That line landed harder than it probably should have. He did not praise intelligence or achievement. He named qualities that suggested presence, risk, and a willingness to say what was true even when it was inconvenient.

Looking back now, I understand that what he really noticed was not an aptitude for Latin. He noticed a hunger for connection and a comfort with language as a living thing. He saw the possibility of a life built around words, meaning, and noticing, and he named it out loud. That naming mattered. There are moments when a teacher does not give you something new, but instead reflects something back to you that you had not yet trusted. Sometimes being seen is not about praise. Sometimes it is about recognition arriving early enough to change the shape of a life.

Thank you, Mr. Duffy.

February 2026
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Fear and the Motherfucker – Day 22

Prompt – Your first day of school that you truly remember.

The first day of school that I truly remember was fourth grade, and the memory was all due to Mrs. Blue, my new teacher. I came into that year riding the high of third grade with Ms. Mullings, a teacher who made the classroom feel alive and safe at the same time. Learning had felt expansive. Mistakes were part of the process. Curiosity was welcomed. And I am sure she was a witch – both a real witch and a good witch. There were big shoes to fill, but Mrs. Blue arrived wearing none of them. She could not find the stride, the rhythm, or the balance required to lead a room full of children. What she brought instead was pain, grief, and an atmosphere so tight with fear that it pressed against my chest before the first recess of the year.

Her classroom had rules. Rules stacked on rules. Rules with no context and no grace. On the first morning, we were seated quickly and told to listen. This was not an invitation. It was a warning. She began listing expectations of the classroom as if reading a rap sheet of a lifetime criminal. Sit this way. Speak this way. Do not do this. Do not do that. The room grew smaller with every sentence.

Then she introduced the concept of “bad words.” Words we were never to say. She told us there would be zero tolerance for language that did not belong in her classroom. What counted as a bad word, however, was not left to interpretation. She turned to the board and began writing them out in chalk, one by one, with a precision that felt practiced. Fuck. Shit. Ass. Asshole. Bastard. Bitch. Damn. Piss. Dick. Cock. Motherfucker. Prick. Douchebag. Jackass. The list kept growing, long past the point of instruction and well into spectacle. Even sailors would have felt seen.

I sat there stunned. My house rarely swore. My father believed swearing disrespected the uniform, whatever the fuck that meant. Hearing those words written so boldly on a school chalkboard felt illicit and dangerous, like being handed contraband and told not to touch it.

When her imagination finally ran dry, she turned back to us and asked if anyone wanted to volunteer additional bad words she might have missed. She reminded us we were not supposed to say them, which meant no one moved. Fear had already done its work. Eventually, a few hands went up, tentative and shaking, offering words like they were confessions.

Then I raised my hand.

When she called on me, I volunteered “rat bastard.” Mrs. Blue wrote it on the board just as she had with the other words.

That was the first day of school I remember clearly.

Now, as an educator, I think back to what Ms. Blue taught me, even if she never meant to. She taught me how fear shuts down learning. She taught me how control masquerades as structure. She taught me that classrooms are laboratories, and what we model becomes the experiment. I did not learn fourth grade content that day. I learned how not to teach. And some lessons, once learned, never fucking leave.

February 2026
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